Dollar and Some Change

I am a home body. I am a stay in or have a quiet night out kinda girl. Jeez even the pub we go to is nice and low key. I like to eat the things that I've always liked to eat. I like coming home to how my life at home. I like knowing I can always count on Athena greeting me with a shoe. I like the way I wash my face and take out my contacts every night (since high school). Aka I don't like change.

Okay maybe that is a bit dramatic *surprise surprise* but change is scary and uncomfortable and different and it is especially The Unknown.

Because of soon to be changes it has made me think about why I am the way I am regarding change in my life. Thinking about it now I have avoided it quite a bit in my life: I have dated guys for a lot longer than I wanted to/should have, not because I loved them oh so much but because I was comfortable. Of course I still liked them but that wasn't the determining factor. I had a hard time when not only Mariah but when Mike moved away (obviously). I felt like I was losing my little sister and big brother, but I knew it was what made them happy and what was best for them and I of course still see them. However! I can truly say that I just honestly, truly, really really didn't want E to move to USU because she's my best friend and I wanted to be able to still see her every day. So yeah that kind of ties into change but it was more about her, not the change.

Another reason I think change is hard is because sometimes (usually most of the time) it involves people in my life. Whether it be losing them, being distanced from them, or just not really seeing them a whole lot. I am a very personable person who loves making friends with everyone and the ones that I do make are genuine friendships to me. I get to know these people and end up loving their guts and I don't want to leave! But sometimes change is the best thing. And that sucks lol

But I have faith that things will work out exactly how they are supposed to. That,
and I have an amazing man who is always supportive in everything that I do, so I know I can do anything (within reason of course) with his help. You rock my socks off babe :)

gn: center;

And thats (up above quote) is okay.

Love,
Kxoxo

Tunes

I have been so music infatuated lately. I love when even you can't express what you're feeling and you stumble upon a song that does just that almost perfectly. It doesn't even have to be that the lyrics fit a little or even at all, sometimes its the music and feeling or meaning that the artist gives and expresses. Sometimes I can be completely depressed, I can't figure out why or what I'm feeling but then I listen to a song and it brings me back to the desire to be happy and resolve whatever it is that is upsetting me. At other times I am in such an amazing, happy, goofy mood and I pick a song (preferably Obla Di Obla Da) and it makes me dance silly and sing out way loud; it puts a huge smile on mine and Ammon's face and we have such a good time (usually in the car). Even thinking about it now makes me happy and puts a smile on my face. At other times I listen to this one specific song and... I can't even really describe what I feel except complete happiness and love and gratitude to have him in my life. Or this certain song that reminds me of my dad, sister and brother (in law). Songs that express my desires, dreams, fears, insecurities, gratitude, loves, content, ambition, empowerment, strength, courage, hurt, thoughts, anger, perseverance, and more.

Current Inspiration:

Levon; Elton John

Your Song; Elton John

Tiny Dancer; Elton John

Obla-Di Obla-Da; The Beatles

Born This Way; Lady Gaga

The Luckiest; Ben Folds

Kesley Elizabeth; Emily Kofford

(photography: Elicia Launi elicialauni.blogspot.com)
The Awakening; Emily Kofford

Marry Me; Train

And there you have it. Golly this post made me happy. I do have an amazing life and incredible people to love, be loved by, and share it with.

Love,
Kxoxo

I Dunno Either

As my lovely blog/high school friend Hillary pointed out in her post: does anyone really know what they are doing 100%? No changing your major, wondering if its the right one, completely certain of where you are, where you are going, totally know who you are, etc because if you are then I applaud you like 1000x over. Of course I know a few things for certain: I love Athena, I love Ammon, I want to have a family someday, I want to get married someday, I want to get a Masters, I want to buy an older house and make it a home, I want to live on my own, I want to go to Europe, I want to travel, family is the most important thing to me, I want to have a career in which I help people, I always want to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle, I want a Great Dane BUT even though I haven't achieved all of that yet I'm incredibly happy now. Because this picture quote is absolutely true and I love it.

I think it is a lot of what is wrong with our society today. People keep waiting for happiness. Wait for the bigger house, the better job, the better degree but that's not the point! The point is to be happy and content through every stage of your development (like a butterfly; which is why if I get a tattoo that is what it will be). This is your life, right now, good and bad, and its beautiful. As Marilyn Monroe said: "So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." I will post the whole quote at the end of the post.
Of course I get discouraged sometimes at working working working on everything in my life non stop but hey, that's life. And if I'm not happy now I'm not going to be happy because all of a sudden I have a house or a Great Dane. Sometimes I do question if Social Work is for me, maybe Humanities or Political Science? But I think about the reasons why I first wanted to do counseling, etc and it still feels right. Sometimes I get discouraged that I still live at home like a kid but then I remind myself that the only thing I do not pay for is rent and I remember that I am very responsible and self sufficient. Sometimes I feel like school is freaking hard and it just keeps going and going but then I remind myself of how much I like a class, or professor, and most importantly why I am going: to secure a happy, every developing and driven life. And sometimes I feel like people are hard on me and expect way too much from me and I shift the focus from what others think or expect to what I think and expect- its ok that I can't give everyone everything they want from me or to tell someone no, or do something that others disagree with. This is my life and its about what makes ME happy, not them. Remember that for yourself too and that almost all of us are a little lost and confused too. After all, there's no instruction booklet for life, we're all just learning as we go and someday we'll figure it all out.


Love,
Kxoxo

Here's the quote :)
"This life is what you make it. No matter what you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't then who will sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
— Marilyn Monroe

So when I dont have time to do a very detailed post, nothing major to post about, etc I still like to write about something and answering questions about me pretty easy. I'd like to think I know myself pretty well

1. What time did you get up this morning?
6:30 AM ahhhh

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium rare Ammon style

3. What was the last movie you saw?
Ummm I think Love and Other Drugs

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Walking Dead

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Europe (think England, Spain, Ireland)

6. What did you have for breakfast?
I will be having a toasted PB&J

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Other than American, Italian. But I like good ole hometown Americano

8. What foods do you dislike?
Tomatoes are awful horrid creations, mushrooms, olvies

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
Rumbi and home

10. Favorite dressing?
Tomatillo Ranch

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Just got my Pontiac Vibe woo woo!

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Shorts and V Necks

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Europe. All of Europe.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Always half full

15. Where would you want to retire?
Somewhere near my family or warm

16. Favorite time of day?
Day like 11am-7pm

17. Where were you born?
Cedar City

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
On TV: Basketball, Soccer In Person: Basketball, Football, and Soccer

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
I have a feeling we're not on FB Todo

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
Please see above

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Enough already!

22. Bird watcher?
No unless Athena is trying to chase them because it hilarious

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Middle of the day definitely not morning

24. Do you have any pets?
Awww my Athena

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
I'm super very wonderfully happy :D thats always exciting

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
I think a vet or a teacher

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Oh man. Warm spring/summer nights with friends and family

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
dog

29. Are you married?
nopers

30. Always wear your seat belt?
yes

31. Been in a car accident?
yep

32. Any pet peeves?
Slow overly cautious drivers, people who continually focus on what they don't have instead of what they do have.

33 Favorite Pizza Topping?
Pepperoni

34. Favorite Flower?
Gerber daisies and Lilies

35. Favorite ice cream?
Chocolate Peanut Butter

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Rumbi or Costa Vida

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
zero

38. From whom did you get your last email?
I don't know Aeropostale?

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit cards?
Ikea

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Zoo :)

41. Like your job?
For reals yes :)

42. Broccoli?
yeah when its cooked

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Spring Break to Cali and Vegas with E

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Ammon; he's a pretty good date if I do say so myself

45. What are you listening to right now?
The Fray on Hampton Radio. They were playing Madonna earlier- craziness

46. What is your favorite color?
Yellow Black Green

47. How many tattoos do you have?
zero

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
once again. NOT fb

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
9:42 AM

50. Coffee Drinker?
When I have to be. Like this morning. Or when it sounds good, like a Java Chip Frappucino from Starbucks.

I got my first car last week! All my own :) Onto building my credit and having something that I really like and have to work to keep, maintain, etc. Its a Pontiac Vibe 2003, Silver, Black Interior (YES!), stick (oh yeah!), and it has a hatchback which is the perfect little place for Athena (she won't get the interior dirty and hairy and if we're ever in a wreck its not very big and she'd only hit the back seat and not fly through the windshield or hit other people in the car) I gotta keep my baby safe!

In other news me and Ammon have talked about going to the zoo and just decided to go yesterday. It was fun! I got to see all my favorites: Elephants (the baby Zuri was so freaking cute all sucking water up with her little fuzzy trunk); Tigers (one big guy/gal was up and walking (crazy cuz that NEVER happens) and another was just sleeping in the shade where we could just stare at them (they are so beautiful I love them); and Gorillas (super fav!) this one male (i think) gorilla was just staring out with this piece of wood or plastic (maybe like 4" by 10") and all of a sudden got angry threw it ran back and then banged on the glass at all of us- I'd never seen one do anything like that! But he was very handsome and I loved him.

Okey Dokey I'll get back to all you Kool Kats later
Love,
Kxoxo

Birthdays and Dates and Cars

OOOOOKAAY lets get this show on the road:

Twenty One!

For my birthday I got to spend all day with Ammon :D He snuck away for a sec and came back with my favorite flowers (he always gets really awesome flowers; the last ones lived for literally 2 and a half weeks)and my gift! Then (I'm sorry the details are so vague but its been a while since the 29th of April) Josie, Ammon, and I met Elise, Sam, Taylor, MDubb, Kenne, and Guts at Chili's (Kels and Jasen met us there a bit later)and we had a grand ole time! So I thought that I'd be really smart and eat a lot so I wouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. Well, APPARENTLY eating a lot and drinking while doing so is a horrible combo. I got SO freaking bloated it wasn't even funny. After dinner Ammon took me to the pub for the first time (my first bar! lol) and I could only get not even half of a hedgehog, or whatever its called (I know thats not right but I don't remember). Its a hard cider and its way better than beer (gross). After the pub we went to Marta's and I got wonderful presents (yaya) and wonderful birthday glass. But guess what? I couldn't use it cuz my stomach was so owy! Ammon made fun of me because I literally looked pregnant. Sadly, we left at midnight and I fell asleep in the car because of the food/drink plan. However, I had an AWESOME birthday and I'm so glad I got to spend it with all of best friends who I love so much :) On Sunday my family had a family dinner for me (my mama's amazing chicken enchiladas and cheescake) and I loved getting to spend time with all of them!

Can I just say that I love date nights :) Even the simplest ones. Of course Ammon and I spend a lot of time together but its nice to just take a break from our normal day to day stuff and just have fun and be with each other. This week we went to Red Iguana (holy moly that stuff is good).
I thought we went to the wrong one when I saw the outside lol but he reassured me this was the place. After that we got a brownie peanut butter sundae at Leatherbys or however you spell it. Jeez that place is weird. A handcart etched front door (?), old fashioned sundaes painted on the walls, Disney music only (I may listen to it in my car- as Ammon so kindly pointed out- but it was kinda weird in a restaurant), and then pictures of flowers? landscape? something off the wall like that. Needless to say, I was Ammon's entertainment as I went on and on about how weird it was. We then rented Blue Valentine and it was a waste of time. I was really excited to see it, it got great reviews, two awesome actors, and then nada. It ended really weird and didn't conclude or solve anything. *Sigh* Oh well, wonderful night nonetheless.

And last but not least guess who got a new car? THIS GIRL right here! Yep I'm pretty excited :) My first very own car! I will be back soon to post pictures and details. Maybe share the frustrating months long journey to find one :) I'm thinking I may name her Molly after 'Obla Di Obla Da' its my favorite song to sing to in the car.

Love,
Kxoxo