Ok i wrote this list about two weeks ago and never published it but here it is:
1. Athena. I don't care what anyone says about weirdos who love their dogs because I really do love her. She gives me a reason/responsibility to stay on top of things: feeding her, taking her to the vet, taking her for a walk, playing. And even on my most depressing days I can't help but smile and laugh at her in all of her sweet naive puppy cuteness. (and for all you haters out there studies show that people who own a dog show a dramatic decrease in suffering from depression)
2. The Chase. Yes i have been in love and yes I loved it and it was wonderful and i want it again BUT you cannot deny that you love the flutter flies in your tummy when he/she texts you first or leans in for your first kiss together.
3. Driving fast and singing with E. E is (was) home for spring break and as sad as it is i had forgotten how much i've missed her all this time. i'd forgotten how much i truly LOVE just driving around with her singing at the top of our lungs to all of the music we love together. i feel so untouched by everything else in those moments; as if no matter what is going on and how horrible things are i'm going to be ok because me and my best friend are still together and singing and having fun.
4. Emily Rachelle Kofford. she is my very best friend. when she moved away i thought "oh it'll be ok" "i will survive!" eh yeah not so much... i have realized how much i need a best friend and not just any old best friend by MY best friend. i can honestly say there is no one in this world that understands me as much as she does. only E will walk around wal mart with me making fools of ourselves to the extent that i truly want to- with other people it reaches a certain point and then they just think i'm an idiot. only she will ho down with me in our prom dresses in front of everyone. i love you Emily Rachelle Kofford. someone sure knew what they were doing when they gave us art and seminary together in ninth grade.
5. Dancing. it is the one act in my life that i do entirely for me. its not to please others or to prove myself or to make someone happy. it is because i love it with my entire heart. putting my emotion and heart into my body in a way that can touch people to experience my feelings. it is powerful. it is beautfiful. it is me. it is my love.
6. Talking. yes i like talking to people but i'm talking about those kinds of people you can just talk to for hours. as weird as it may sound i find them hard to come by. i've only met a handful of people that really spark my interest and can keep up an interesting meaningful conversation for an extended period of time.
7. Guys who make me laugh. Marilyn Monroe said "if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything" i am totally the kind of girl that if you can make me laugh you can walk right into my heart. i love to laugh. i've only realized this though this past year when i actually haven't been laughing very often. i felt like i was suffocating and its because i wasn't getting my oxygen aka my laughter. i HAVE to laugh, its as simple as that. if i don't then i am miserable. the world is a very sad place to live in especially if you can't laugh along the way.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
ok so i found this letter on another person's blog through stumble upon but its freaking funny so here it is: and just p.s. i think this woman is awesome and sarcastically hilarious
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X
Amen Wendi
xoxo The redhead
