Books

So I'm a big reader. I've always been good at it (I was the first reader in my primary class thank you very much) and for the most part I've always loved it. I say most part because in elementary school I was required to read a certain amount of time each day and my aunt always always always made me do it. I'd always beg her to let me read a few minutes less than required and sometimes she'd give in by letting me go two or three minutes early. That's it. However, when I read I forgot that I was reading and really enjoyed it. I think it was the fact that it was something I was supposed to do so, naturally as a punk kid, I thought that meant I should dislike it.

Now fifteen or whatever years later I still love it. However, being a grown up definitely cuts into my reading time. There was a whole year where I honestly don't think I read a book from front to back and when I realized this I was disgusted with myself. Who was I? I was the girl who read through books in a matter of days not years! Since then I've tried to always be reading a book and depending on my schedule, how interesting the book is, etc I finish them anywhere between a few days to a few weeks. There are so many I want to read and ones that I know I'll find and read/want to read. Let me just say I don't think I will EVER read all of the books that I want to. Here are my lists:

Books I've Read & Recommend:

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee (an all time favorite which I'm reading right now)
The Awakening by Kate Chopin (makes you question a lot of your assumptions)
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseni (I need to reread this one)
Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen (My first audio book. I actually haven't finished listening to it- I listen while I crochet but I really like it so far)
The Lion The Witch & The Wardrobe by CS Lewis (favorite as a kid)
Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling (besides the entertainment it really has a lot of good and deep messages)
Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine (more fitting for a little girl)
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (very fitting to America's society)
Word War Z by Max Brooks (zombie love. I haven't finished it but its awesome)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl (lovely children's book)

Books I Want/Need to Read:

The Road by Cormac McCarthy (its Ammon's fav and he's a picky reader and English degree holder so it has to be good)
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (this is a reread but I read it in elementary school)
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote (love the movie Capote with Patrick Seymoure Hoffman)
The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein (from a dog's perspective)
Doctors From Hell by Vivien Spitz (about Nazi doctors)
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card (if my bfe wrote a song about it its def worth reading)
A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle (another reread from childhood)
The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin (childhood reread)
Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbett (childhood reread)
The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery
Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
Watership Down by Richard Adams
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury


And there are so many more. For example I want to read all of The Classics but there are a bunch of different lists that people claim are The Classics so we'll see... Maybe Barnes & Noble they seem pretty legit.

I'll try and add to the lists as I remember more and post an update when I do.

Love,
Kxoxo

Beauty

I'm going to try and be a bit more committed to this thing called blogging. Once again I'm sorry for my leave of absence but I promise I have really good reasons. And no thats not sarcastic I really do. Anyways lets get rolling:

I am a Pinterest addict. ADDICT. I could pin for hours and sometimes I do (guilty). I love pinning quotes, food, wedding stuff, and the occasional outfit, puppy, sarcastic quote, etc. Lately though I've been searching the entire Pinterest universe as opposed to just going through the feed of the those I follow. Guess what? Its eye opening. And I like it. I'll type in one word and get so many different perspectives on the definition of that word. Example: Strength. I am returned with a picture of a the incredibly muscular legs of a ballerina in her pointe shoes, an abstract rainbow water color of a woman's silhouette, a gorgeous chestnut horse, a beautiful 5+ point deer, a tattoo about strength, quotes about strength, and a beautiful portrait of an elderly native american.

Now I've typed in beauty. Yes, there were hundreds of beautiful images but they got me thinking, pondering, and asking myself, "what do I think is beautiful"? I truly mean beautiful. Breathtaking. Stunning. Not just pretty:

"Prettiness is the enemy of beauty- it cancels out beauty's greatness, grandeur and presence."
-Unknown

So I go through some pins for inspiration, nothing really catches my eye, so I start writing this post and ideas flow. I think back on images I've seen or experiences I've witnessed and beauty, to me, is something that moves me to tears or gives me that moment of impact of pure 'wow' because I literally feel so touched that I cannot express or recapture that moment. Beauty to me is:

A child taking care of a younger sibling, singing in the front row of the primary program into the microphone and doesn't even know it (you know what I'm talking about) saying a prayer, or talking about grown up ideas etc. Its the complete love and innocence in which they do these things. They are absolutely beautiful and unblemished from the world (in most cases) and they know and believe in God, good people, happiness, love, etc and it makes me happy. Their undying faith and optimism in those around them, God, life, the world, everything. Children are beauty.

Love between a man and woman (of course I think all types of love are beautiful but especially this kind). Especially during/in photos of a wedding. Those moments when you are completely giving yourself to that other person because you love them SO much, beyond words, for the rest of eternity. You have committed to one another forever. To get through everything together no matter the circumstance, to build a life together. To find that person out of all others that fits you perfectly, lifts you up when you resist and try to stay down, who loves you for 100% who you are, not who you could/should/would be.

Animals. I LOVE animals. They are amazing, beautiful, mysterious, and complex creatures that are a gift to this world. To see the strength and technique it takes for a tiger to catch its prey, a dolphin swimming at the stern of a boat playing tag, a giant whale swimming up to every single volunteer who helped free them from a net to thank them, coming home to your pet who loves you unconditionally and happily. Animals are so innocent and childlike to me. Of course they can take care of themselves, etc but there is a innocence that they have which is absolutely beautiful. I truly feel blessed to have these amazing creatures around us and believe we should do all we can to respect and protect them as well.

Birth. I'm not talking about the actual physical process of birth. I'm talking about the beauty of bringing another human being into this world and raising that innocent baby with every ounce of love you have. I do not know but I've heard from countless parents that there is nothing like the love you have for your child. I wish I could explain it the way they do but I can't. I do know that it is a miracle and beauty all its own.

Love you all

Love,
Kxoxo

Thank You

"Young men and women are risking their lives, their futures, in many cases their own opportunities to marry or have children. They risk the blessing of sitting on their front porch and watching the sunset as grandkids chase the neighbor’s cat across the front lawn.

Or perhaps they choose to do none of those things. But without a heartbeat they will have no choice.

Consider that, will you? The fact that men and women of our military and emergency services risk so willingly every day, so bravely, is awe inspiring. They make Superman, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman and every other childhood hero look like losers. These soldiers are too big for comic book pages and movie screens."

Jason F. Wright 'Are You Proud To Be An American?' Deseret News

The bulk of the article that this quote is from is about feeling 'It', being proud to be an American. He gives different examples of when he or others have felt 'It' and asks you if you have.

I have definitely felt it before but I have never felt it more then I have this past year. My sense of gratitude and pride has increased so much more than I could have ever imagined and I have three very important people in my life to thank for this: Mike, Mariah, and Ammon.

Ammon just finished his duty with The National Guard in February after 9 years. Thankfully he never had to go over seas but he did help with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Viewing his duty to go to Louisiana really gave me a different view of what a National Guard soldier is asked to do. Its not just 1 weekend a month, 3 weeks a year at all. You are on call to come fight a fire (like the one at Camp Williams), literally help save people or prevent future damage during natural and other disasters, fight overseas, and so much more. I am so proud to be able to tell everyone that the man I love made this sacrifice. I couldn't ask for a better man to have and love and call my own.

Mike has been in The National Guard almost a year now. I have never seen someone more dedicated than Mike is. He truly loves his country. Not only does he fulfill his duty to be a soldier but he does it positively. Of course he could focus on the negative but I have never heard him do it. Even though he was away from home he loved basic training and I know that didn't come without effort. Now as he gears up to train and go to the middle east he is still upbeat and happy and optimistic. I feel so unbelievably proud to have my big brother (in law) overseas for me, for my family, for that guy who will probably hit on his wife while he's gone, for his mom, for his little brother, for the old lady down the street he's never met, for you. I will miss him so much when he leaves but I know that he will be ok. I know that he will remain strong. I know that the Lord will be with him every single step of the way. I know he will not lose faith. I know this because I know he is a great man who is stronger than this deployment and has so much to come home to.

Mariah. Oh my little baby sister. I cannot express how 'in awe' of her I am. She is The strongest woman I know and I am so happy and grateful that I get to call her my sister. She is my support, my encouragement, my conscience at times, my inspiration, my confidant, my best friend. And on top of all this she is the amazing wife of an even more amazing married couple. They were married on August 7 and he left (i think) on August 16. She got to see him for 2 days in October for his basic training graduation, he got 10 days home for Christmas, and then came back in January. Now he starts training this month, comes back in August for a few days, goes to Texas in September, gets a few days for Christmas, then ships out to the middle east. This is all in their FIRST TO SECOND YEAR of marriage. She remains so strong, faithful, diligent, and responsible while he is gone, and she remains positive and productive. It is amazing the amount of strength one has when you are called upon to use it and this woman is the strongest I know.

Thank you Ammon for being the kind of man that is willing to sacrifice for the greater good and being the man that I need. Thank you Mike for being the man that you are, for sacrificing your time with your wife and family to protect all of us here at home, for being the most amazing husband to Mariah, and for keeping her safe and happy.

Before Mike came into our lives I never really thought about the families of our armed forces, what they go through, how much they sacrifice but now I know. So thank you. Thank you Mariah for being the best friend and sister I could ask for, for sacrificing your time with your amazing husband for all of us here, for staying strong through all of this (but its ok to be sad too, I'm always here), and for doing it all with your unwavering positivity and faith (I learn so much from you). And thank you to Alisha, Brad, Grandma Joan, and others who raised such an amazing man. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such a strong, loving, and supportive family to Mariah, and for your sacrifice to our country. I know its not easy. I'm trying not to cry at work while I write this and I'm only his sister-in-law. He truly is one of the best things to ever happen to our family and it is because he was raised and loved and taught by such wonderful and kind people.

I am so proud to have these people and examples in my life. I am proud to love each of them. I am proud I get to learn from them everyday. I am proud to be an American.

Fov-Or-Eets aka Favorites With a Cool Accent

My dear friend Megan did a post about her favorite products/things on her blog a few weeks ago and I've seen some other blog friends do similar posts and I thought it would be fun so here we go!

Smart Water

Yes Jennifer I feel the same way. I have never been a bottled water snob but now I am a Smart Water snob. It just tastes so clean and fresh and I LOVE the bottle lol I usually use the bottle for a week and fill it up with filtered water but Ammon made the point that if I bought one of the big ones it saved money so now I'm gonna fill it up that way until the big bottle is gone so I don't spend millions on water lol

Baby Lotion

Again I've never been a lotion user but Ammon had baby lotion at his house and I really liked it so now I try and use it after every shower. I love how its light and not greasy, absorbs fast, and doesn't leave a strong scent (the three reasons I didn't like using it before) AND it makes my skin super soft :) However, next time I'm getting the kind in the white bottle because i like the smell better/

Garnier Fructis Deep Conditioner Sleek and Shine

I blow dry and straighten my hair probably 2 to 3 times a week but it used to be a ton more and my hair grows really slow so its still recuperating. I thought I'd try a deep conditioner once a week or so but this stuff rocks! I use it everyday and it doesn't weigh down or overload my hair at all (I even put it into my roots, which is usually a no no with fine hair but its a ok with this stuff so far). When I get around to blow drying and straightening my hair this stuff keeps my fly aways at bay annnd leaves it super smooth and shiny :)

Bear Naked

I'm usually a pretty healthy eater. That is until a chocolate craving hits for a day or two... but this stuff is super good. I like this flavor best but they have a bunch more; they vary on what store you go to. It may seem expensive but when you read the serving size its 1/4 a cup which is not a whole lot. Thats because granola is so dense so it packs the calories you need in a smaller serving. So as long as i stick to that it lasts me a couple weeks. Oh and I love eating it with Strawberry Banana yogurt for breakfast.

Falsies Mascara

I usually buy a different mascara every time I run out but I really like this stuff! I like to have a lot of mascara to fill up my fine and blonde eyelashes but I don't like the clumping, etc. This stuff really makes them big and long and kinda falsie (but not really false just big and pretty like).

Too Faced Naked Eye Soft & Sexy Eye Shadow

Dear dear Kels gave me this for Christmas and I use it pretty much everyday. I use it for school, work, play, date nights, family, everything. Its so versatile because the colors in the pallet all work together really well and they range from super light to black, so you can layer and dress up or down as much as you want! It is available at Sephora :)

Smashbox Soft Lights in Baked Stardust

Probably won't buy another bronzer/highlighter because I like this a lot. Love that it isn't too overwhelming or too light on my fair skin, it isn't heavy or cakey, and you can layer it for more color if you like. I also sometimes use the individual colors for highlight when I don't want to wear eyeshadow and it looks very pretty and bright eyed.

Lola Marc Jacobs

Ok I got a sample of this from Sephora maybe 6 months ago and I LOVE IT. I only use it when I'm feeling particularly pretty or sexy or I want Ammon to love the way I smell lol I'm pretty sure this is his favorite. And I know I'm gonna either have to bite the bullet and buy it or ask for it at Christmas :) Its hard to describe but I think its sexy and girly and fun and mature and not overwhelming all in one. I always feel super pretty when wearing it :)

Pure DKNY

Also a sample from Sephora 6 months ago. This stuff is so light and... yeah pure lol Seriously its just wonderful. Not too light and not too heavy. Its perfect for summer and when I want to feel all light and airy and pretty and fresh :)

So there you have it! Wonderful stuff I tell ya

Love,
Kxoxo

Dollar and Some Change

I am a home body. I am a stay in or have a quiet night out kinda girl. Jeez even the pub we go to is nice and low key. I like to eat the things that I've always liked to eat. I like coming home to how my life at home. I like knowing I can always count on Athena greeting me with a shoe. I like the way I wash my face and take out my contacts every night (since high school). Aka I don't like change.

Okay maybe that is a bit dramatic *surprise surprise* but change is scary and uncomfortable and different and it is especially The Unknown.

Because of soon to be changes it has made me think about why I am the way I am regarding change in my life. Thinking about it now I have avoided it quite a bit in my life: I have dated guys for a lot longer than I wanted to/should have, not because I loved them oh so much but because I was comfortable. Of course I still liked them but that wasn't the determining factor. I had a hard time when not only Mariah but when Mike moved away (obviously). I felt like I was losing my little sister and big brother, but I knew it was what made them happy and what was best for them and I of course still see them. However! I can truly say that I just honestly, truly, really really didn't want E to move to USU because she's my best friend and I wanted to be able to still see her every day. So yeah that kind of ties into change but it was more about her, not the change.

Another reason I think change is hard is because sometimes (usually most of the time) it involves people in my life. Whether it be losing them, being distanced from them, or just not really seeing them a whole lot. I am a very personable person who loves making friends with everyone and the ones that I do make are genuine friendships to me. I get to know these people and end up loving their guts and I don't want to leave! But sometimes change is the best thing. And that sucks lol

But I have faith that things will work out exactly how they are supposed to. That,
and I have an amazing man who is always supportive in everything that I do, so I know I can do anything (within reason of course) with his help. You rock my socks off babe :)

gn: center;

And thats (up above quote) is okay.

Love,
Kxoxo

Tunes

I have been so music infatuated lately. I love when even you can't express what you're feeling and you stumble upon a song that does just that almost perfectly. It doesn't even have to be that the lyrics fit a little or even at all, sometimes its the music and feeling or meaning that the artist gives and expresses. Sometimes I can be completely depressed, I can't figure out why or what I'm feeling but then I listen to a song and it brings me back to the desire to be happy and resolve whatever it is that is upsetting me. At other times I am in such an amazing, happy, goofy mood and I pick a song (preferably Obla Di Obla Da) and it makes me dance silly and sing out way loud; it puts a huge smile on mine and Ammon's face and we have such a good time (usually in the car). Even thinking about it now makes me happy and puts a smile on my face. At other times I listen to this one specific song and... I can't even really describe what I feel except complete happiness and love and gratitude to have him in my life. Or this certain song that reminds me of my dad, sister and brother (in law). Songs that express my desires, dreams, fears, insecurities, gratitude, loves, content, ambition, empowerment, strength, courage, hurt, thoughts, anger, perseverance, and more.

Current Inspiration:

Levon; Elton John

Your Song; Elton John

Tiny Dancer; Elton John

Obla-Di Obla-Da; The Beatles

Born This Way; Lady Gaga

The Luckiest; Ben Folds

Kesley Elizabeth; Emily Kofford

(photography: Elicia Launi elicialauni.blogspot.com)
The Awakening; Emily Kofford

Marry Me; Train

And there you have it. Golly this post made me happy. I do have an amazing life and incredible people to love, be loved by, and share it with.

Love,
Kxoxo

I Dunno Either

As my lovely blog/high school friend Hillary pointed out in her post: does anyone really know what they are doing 100%? No changing your major, wondering if its the right one, completely certain of where you are, where you are going, totally know who you are, etc because if you are then I applaud you like 1000x over. Of course I know a few things for certain: I love Athena, I love Ammon, I want to have a family someday, I want to get married someday, I want to get a Masters, I want to buy an older house and make it a home, I want to live on my own, I want to go to Europe, I want to travel, family is the most important thing to me, I want to have a career in which I help people, I always want to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle, I want a Great Dane BUT even though I haven't achieved all of that yet I'm incredibly happy now. Because this picture quote is absolutely true and I love it.

I think it is a lot of what is wrong with our society today. People keep waiting for happiness. Wait for the bigger house, the better job, the better degree but that's not the point! The point is to be happy and content through every stage of your development (like a butterfly; which is why if I get a tattoo that is what it will be). This is your life, right now, good and bad, and its beautiful. As Marilyn Monroe said: "So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." I will post the whole quote at the end of the post.
Of course I get discouraged sometimes at working working working on everything in my life non stop but hey, that's life. And if I'm not happy now I'm not going to be happy because all of a sudden I have a house or a Great Dane. Sometimes I do question if Social Work is for me, maybe Humanities or Political Science? But I think about the reasons why I first wanted to do counseling, etc and it still feels right. Sometimes I get discouraged that I still live at home like a kid but then I remind myself that the only thing I do not pay for is rent and I remember that I am very responsible and self sufficient. Sometimes I feel like school is freaking hard and it just keeps going and going but then I remind myself of how much I like a class, or professor, and most importantly why I am going: to secure a happy, every developing and driven life. And sometimes I feel like people are hard on me and expect way too much from me and I shift the focus from what others think or expect to what I think and expect- its ok that I can't give everyone everything they want from me or to tell someone no, or do something that others disagree with. This is my life and its about what makes ME happy, not them. Remember that for yourself too and that almost all of us are a little lost and confused too. After all, there's no instruction booklet for life, we're all just learning as we go and someday we'll figure it all out.


Love,
Kxoxo

Here's the quote :)
"This life is what you make it. No matter what you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't then who will sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
— Marilyn Monroe